Vanguard3000 Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 A while back, we were discussing the origin of the Arrakeen Sandworm. Well, here's an explanation. I hope you like it, because I don't. I am not happy with this work, but I might as well post it here anyway, since I had sort of promised I would make this, and I don't want to start over. ;)------------------------------------------------LegacyRevv hated homework. He enjoyed learning, but only on his own terms, and without restraints and guidelines. Without homework. As his mind wandered, Revv tried to pretend it wasn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 VANGUARD, THIS IS GREAT, THIS IS THE BEST FAN FIC I READ IN DAYS!I like your characters - they're gods!This thing has potential! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard3000 Posted April 19, 2003 Author Share Posted April 19, 2003 Thanks, Davidu. I'm glad you like it. I was afraid it would turn out as more of a rant than a story. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 Man, tell you what... Try to expand it... I think you wrote down too few words for its potential! Try to give it depth, more depth. I dunno what mood did you have when you wrote this down, but you have to fell the same again.Or just leave it as it is; it's still great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard3000 Posted April 19, 2003 Author Share Posted April 19, 2003 Mood? Mood is for cattle and loveplay! ;)It was 11:00PM or so. I was tired. That was my mood. What do you recommend I expand? I'm thinking the description of the Sandworm is a bit short compared to the "flashback". I'll try to revise it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 I dunno, I fell like it's too short. Keep the theme, the actions, everithing, but try to expand it, more descriptions of the pleces and animals.But leave those 'gods' as misteryous as they are: they give an awsome atmosphere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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