cobrajc Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 pretty good acriku...heres one of mine.Time.As I sit on the boundry between life and death,as I solemnly await that time we all know,I wonder,What is time?Is it fast? Is it slow?Does time fly?Or does it flow?Time and time again we ask about time.(Yes Ive finally found a way to make this poem rhyme.)As I walk away from the edge of eternity,away from a broken mortal coil,I think to myself,"The time has passed."And a question has been answered.What is time?What do you think?Is time on the line?Or is it on the brink?The choice is yours for you to make,I know you will,Don't be a fake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 hehe... just thinking about how girls are the ultimate paradox to many guys, not all of them but to many. and same goes with girls. I guess it figures. I just wrote this for the heck of it.A woman will sneakily tempta man she wishes to haveand they say men are in control?they claim the power that drives us madits the on going fadThey are as dangerous and fearsom as huntersand use their weapons like mastersthey hold down our will to fightthey scatter us into helpless disasterwomen are our slave mastersand as brash and confusing as they may beI know I would die without their companythe equality of power we hold as man and womangives us the stregth to live life in serenitywithout women, life is a profanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 You can't look back, your life is a jokeYou won't fall back, because you won't like goEvery thing you have left, to reason with meOr pretending as if I had never wanted to seeYou won't say hello, as if you knew me notBecause you won't know, because you're so loudBecause you're so loud, as if you can't growlNo matter how you sound, you know it won't come outYou think the world will move all around youSleeping all round as if we don't know youYou're so primitive, you believe in those rubbishKicking every thrash your way, like I don't fancyAnd I know I'll stop, because you'll go onGo on till I tire, tire till I'm wornAs a matter of a fact, you'll never ever stopEven if time stops, you'll break through the forceAgain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted June 27, 2003 Author Share Posted June 27, 2003 I wish more of you would comment on other people's poems...Nice work all of you, though. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Great stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted June 27, 2003 Author Share Posted June 27, 2003 I'd be pissed if I understood what you just said. ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 uh oh.lol :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 what's standard quatrain poem?and btw, yes i'm heavily influenced by pop music, especially Linkin Park. so sue me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 dude, lol I didnt mean anything by it. and you guys are supposed to get on me wtih my poetry problems. that is what this is all about. you cant take it seriously. silly guys.hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted June 29, 2003 Author Share Posted June 29, 2003 All i'd say is that you should be careful of your meter because a lot of your lines have very irregular syllable numbers and don't rhyme all that well when read aloud. Oh and I hate you... just kidding... ;)Another of mine anyway:Road to the HeavensRed skies,filled with softly burning echoes,foretell of many fires to come.All is in change.The green trees and Godly plants.They crumple and die.Ill tales are a-many.But I never stop to listen.With these tales, my spirit is weakened.Never can I,never will,Escape from my cause.Blackness now;the fires are gone.In their place, the cold of death.On this day,at least it seems to me,the world will end.Wond'rous it isto be proven so wrongby the wonders of the sky.Ragnarok, it seemswill be the one to die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exatreide Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 This one i am thinking of while writing so sue me.The Korean War.Nestled between two greater wars the middle child long forgottenlies a small piece in time that should not be.Millions fighting for a hill.Falling back against the sea.Weapons running low of allMen running low of all.Ships slip infalling back to mother asia.driven backMountains move in humans waves.There charge to near.Bayonets!the cry goes out muffled by hell infernoAnd still no one seems to rememberThe defenders of the hills the thrower of the stonesKorea nestled in between two wars.The middle child long forgottenhers another i think of while writing this one is for TMA and its Called WyonaOld Beauty still strivingto match the speed and power thats been stridingstriding by the new models.she may not be the fastest processing.but she never runs a fowl.5 years old and still survivingdetermined not to die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 hey, I love you too apollyon. ;) and yes your quite right, reading them aloud it seems to have a few problems with meter. I think though that the irregular rythming is okay though, could be wrong.hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Hey guys, this is kinda a prose about some really personal stuff. I just felt like I had to let it out, havent talked about it much to anybody. Just please dont be mean about it, it is not something I am particularly proud of. It makes me feel better to let it out though. :)Sins are in the mind, not in the soul, said I. Sins feed the monster, I feed my monster opium. Never in this worldhas there ever been something so beautiful, as a perspective on milk from the poppy. The mind gives birth to happiness, and that warmth spreads. Spreads all the way to my chest, stomach, and my appendages. My mind's eye sees the love ofthe world, and of fellow man. While I see my reflection in a new light. I see myself in a new egotistical light. I am God! I havesomething you dont have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted July 2, 2003 Author Share Posted July 2, 2003 Wow! You freak! Kidding kidding, just kidding. ;)Pretty powerful stuff though, if a bit weird. :O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted July 30, 2003 Author Share Posted July 30, 2003 Haven't posted any in ages, so here's one:WaywardlyTurning slowly in deserted space,The cogs of time work at the world.The world of men and the world of God,The world of no God too, for they are same.Below the whirring machine of life,Some might blame for their wayward strife,There lies the home, the source, the world.The world of men, they shape with belief,Belief with regret, regret with belief.Beckoning to them, emotions transform.World-touched or world-scarred,Either the same but different words,To describe the tumbling opression, Uplifting draft, or pushing breeze,That reflects what we make of life.This life so long, so brief, a song,Whatever we say it is, it is.For the belief of a man,Shall change existence,Or else be changed itself,By the burden of regret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 Behold the monthly(ish) update of the poems thread!ConfrontationsCrackling confrontations,Burning in the fire.And crumbling ashes in the place,Where once lay your desire.Sanguine sadness,Drenched on your face,Dripping and drowning and mixed with the tears,Quickening in ever swift pace, awash with your fears.Tearing terror,Seated in the soul.Clawing and ripping, mind ever tripping,Burning a gash with terrible coal.Hapless hope,Etched upon visage,A seed of pow'r, torn with the breeze,Storm-tossed by the wind so eager to sieze,The soul and your heart, worn on the sleeve,Awaiting the time that Hope is to leave,And all left is a husk of your being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted October 6, 2003 Author Share Posted October 6, 2003 It's that time again folks!IThe sum of me, no simple thing,Complex patterns now that frame the mind,With strong emotions, my being entwined.But one day,Harkened along this twisted way,A small light in heavenly course,It followed the path unto its source.That source my soul,Still black as coal.Dark from angst and fear,Too dark to even shed a tear.The light shone on blackest heart,It shined, a pillar of light in dark,Gone were the shadows upon my soul,Gone that evil that preyed on my core,Because you were there.You are the light, my love,Chasing the shadows away,And henceforth from fateful day,The sun shines on me from above,But then it always did.But in my core,Below the skin,Beneath my layers of mortal sin,You illuminate my darkest heart,My love, forever more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted October 29, 2003 Author Share Posted October 29, 2003 Scarlet ShoresScarlet Shores,Adrift upon the crimson tides,The water laps at my feet,A great sleeping beast.The stars above shine and call,Call to me below their downward spire.That lights up my heart and my soul,And illuminates my being just like the sky.The moon is blackened.Not by shadow cast,Nor heavenly eclipse,But it has changed its core,And it calls to me,Upon this Scarlet Shore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exatreide Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 Stuck so everyone can post poems in one nice neat thread! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 ok I've made another one, here it isWhat will I choose?I stand at a crossroadWhich path will I choose?Will I choose water over wine?Will I choose hardship over luxury?Will I choose death over defeat?Will I choose fanaticism over tolerance?Will I choose the honourable way over the easy?Will I choose loneliness over companionship?Will I choose change over stagnation?Will I choose hatred over love?Will I choose strength over weakness?Ok this is the compelte and final version of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted November 3, 2003 Author Share Posted November 3, 2003 Well it's good in that the words you've chosen for the poem fit together quite well, just watch your syntax for words that require an article. For instance 'honourable way' and 'struggle' require at least a qualitative 'the' or 'a/an'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Ok, I've made som changes as you can see, now tell me what you think of it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Ok I've made a new one, it is inspired by Apollyon's Paradise Shatterd, and there for I first of all whish to thank him for makeing his epic...anyway here come my poemQuesting for power divineThis quest began long agoIn the dawn of timeAs a search for something darkA quest fuelled by a twisted desireA quest for powerA quest for knowledgeA quest for something darkA quest for that which I must not attainI look at my companionsFiends and heroesMade brave by hateHate to a god and his creation“Hail my friends”I say to them“Long have we questedFor that which is to us forbidden”“But soon we shall find itIt is near I sense it, as do we allFor it is what we most desireAnd soon we shall defy them all, and claim our prize”And forward I lead themTo raid places of knowledgeTo gain the power we desireThe dark power to us forbiddenWith each tower we raidWith each tome we readOur power growsAnd that which we must not reach comes closerThe power we seek is the power of godsThe dark power to undo creationAnd redo it as we desireThe power divine is what we quest for.if you have any comments please post them here, and I would dearly love any sugesstions on how to improve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 here we go again...Into the FireI jumpedInto the FireI fall, burning, blazingI care notI feel the fireConsuming my bodyI want to scream in painBut I do notWhy I fell I do knowI can change my courseIt leads only deathBut I do not want toFor I have chosen my pathAnd to it I’ll stickTill the fiery endTill my Soul has burned awayI take it you know what to do... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted November 5, 2003 Author Share Posted November 5, 2003 You know already that I like it. All I'd say is try to concentrate a little on the sound patterning. Some of those lines don't quite metrically fit, it's difficult to place exactly and hard to write in itself, but practice makes perfect. Here's one of mine to provide a little more variety. ;) Honour and ValourAnd in those times of ancient lore,When man and god walked side at side,And when no great prophet as yet foresaw,The time as now and those to it tied,Did treachery prevail amongst the Norse?Did ways run sour with Zeus on high?Did Orpheus track hell unto its source?And did Volo, with her sight sad, sigh?It seems to me false in its entirety,To judge this as possibility,For that is fiction, plain and true,And this reality, through and through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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