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Twenty Things That Never Happen in Star Trek:


jacobdouds

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1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

2. The Enterprise goes to a visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly fine.

3. Some of the crew uses the holodeck, and it works properly.

4. The crew of The Enterprise discovers a totally new life-form, which later turns out to be rather a well-known old life-form just wearing a funny hat.

5. The crew of The Enterprise is struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick bay.

6. The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people, which is made a great deal easier by the Star Fleet Prime Directive

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without a serious incident.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find out it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

9. A power surge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff.

10.The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put it on trial.

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Can I post more?

21. The Enterprise meets a new alien race that is actually morally *superior* to humans.

22. A non-politically correct episode.

23. Someone uses a toilet. :)

24. The Captain dies.

25. The Captain retires.

26. A routine mission does not go wrong.

27. The senior staff is not exclusively human or vulcan. (I mean, what about all the other races in the Federation? Don't they have any ships?)

Edit: Sorry... numbers are fixed now. :)

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ow you, you wrote that when i was still typing. Evil robot.

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence, which they easily pacify by offering it some sweets.

12. The Enterprise visits an earth type planet called "paradise" where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.

13. A major Starfleet emergancy breaks out near The Enterprise, but fortunately, some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizzare time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the late twentieth century.

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in loe with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically seperated from her at the end of the episode.

16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

17. The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesly Crusher.

18. Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy goof, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

20. Things that are new or in some way unexpected.

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28. They go to where no man has gone before, and actually do not run into anyone.

29. Somebody tells that annoying EMH doctor to shut up.

30. An alien takes possesion of one of the crew members, the other crew call him/her a witch and burn him/her.

31. They actually follow orders from Starfleet command

32. When they don't, they are actually punished.

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You are talking about the series I hope, otherwise a lot won't be true

33. There happens something very strange what ISN'T a small thing in the end

34. Every crew member has a role in the same episode

35. An episode without boring conversation

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37. The forehead on the Klingons actually STAYS THE SAME from series to series.

38. Kirk meets a girl he does NOT like. (I swear, the man is perverted!)

39: "Captain, you'd better beam down here! Your wife's gone off the deep end!" (Got it from another site. Some of you'll understand.)

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41. The red shirts make it to the end.

42. They meet an enemy that can out-punch them and immediately kill them.

43. An ugly lady shows up as a lead actor for the show.

44. An alien without a mouth to kiss on is in distress (poor Kirk).

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  • 4 months later...

How about one on starwars?

The good guys face a bad guy army that doesn't have an immensely stupid weaknesses (small port that's just big enough for a torp to go through and destroy entire ship, no chamber leading to faulty power block that the bad guy KNEW was faulty, no wide open entrance into most important section of the flagship that controls the entire bad guy army,e.t.c)

Speaking of x-wings attacking the enterprise... Starwars is owned by fighters whereas Startrek is owned by starships... it would be entertaining to see a mix of the two

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