AWACS Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 AMIgaBot your jokes are so not funny... are you kidding?i found this one much more funny than any of the other jokes on this threadtwo flowers searching sahara for water.rose: do you know any water source?brother: no, but i saw two wind traps somewererose: they are still somewere?brother: no, they has been crushed by trees.two words, pure genius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 FAMILY PROBLEMTwo men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.One of them kept complaining of family problems.Finally, the other man said: "You think you have familyproblems? Listen to my situation.""A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, myfather married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter,my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wifebecame mother-in-law of her father-in-law.""Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son.But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made himmy wife's grand-son. That made me the grand-father of my half-brother.""This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now thehalf-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother.This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsisteris my father's wife, I am my stepmother'sbrother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father'snephew & I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!""And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tako Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 WHouhahah, knwe that one, if you don't get twisted aroudn you can't stop laughing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 I first heard this songs as a young'n at my grandmothers in FL. I got the Rays Stevens tape as a gift one summer whilst I was down south visiting her. I was not aware so many others recorded it.http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/i/immyowngrandpa.shtml Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar.The bartender turns around and says "What is this, a joke?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager. The manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them." the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have." explains the manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here." the manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows." complains the man again. "Well, we have them, and you could have." the manager replies. No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!" The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager. The manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100." "That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife." "But I didn't!" exclaims the manager. "Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 LOL Clever ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 http://www.regia.org/convert1.htm :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theclansman1911 Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 this one's copied from www.bash.orgmany good quotes come from there..<RvLeshrac> <Terrorists> Shit, maybe we shouldn't take hostages from countries whose people are more insane than us.<RvLeshrac> <China> You give back hostages, or we kill all muslim.<NegaDuk> i think if they piss off china too much, they'll find that china, the US, and britain will turn the middle east into a big walmart parking lot<RvLeshrac> <China> We use nuke. What we care you nuke us? We have billion more people.<NegaDuk> <China> nuke beijing. we tried sars. it no work<RvLeshrac> <China> We stop birth restriction, we make billion more. Three day.<NegaDuk> i think china's just being antisocial so someone will thin their population<RvLeshrac> Seriously.<RvLeshrac> China's answer to anything should be "We stop birth restrictions"<RvLeshrac> <US> Stop flooding our markets with cheap goods, or we stop selling you soybeans. <China> We stop birth restriction! <US> ****!. OK, OK! You can have the damned soybeans!<RvLeshrac> I bet that was the real reason Clinton gave them our satellite codes.<RvLeshrac> <China> You give us code, or we flood world with chinese!<RvLeshrac> <China> All your shirt shrink up like penis in arctic.<NightStar> damn those bad chinese laundry places<RvLeshrac> <China> You never get decent haircut. You explain to women why no manicure.<RvLeshrac> <China> We own you like Hong Kong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNWOUNDS Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 An asteroid is coming to end the world in 5 months.A reporter asked several people in the streets what they were going to do.Many said they would go and party it up while they could ! !But one man said " I am gonna go move in with my mother-in-law""why?" asked the reporter."Because it'll be the longest 5 months of my life" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Poor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Quite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super-ness Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNWOUNDS Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Well its funny if you're married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Lol, Guns got a heckler. One day with my mother in-law is enough to last me a lifetime. And if your not married then you just don't understand. Really is that simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff2429 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hehe[attachment archived by Gobalopper] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desert_storm Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 This is from a conversation I JUST had. Some background info: "bonnie" is my main actor in a movie that I am makeing, and she has to act with a guy and have a "relationship" with him in the movie.> do you want to know the funnyist thing I heard all day?<dinka> ok sure> So, I am trying to figure out who would be a good GUY actor for the movie that I am working on...> And so I asked bonnie who she would like to do it with> ...<dinka> and?<dinka> lol> And I suggested this 19 year old guy<dinka> lol<dinka> ok...> no> Not finished<dinka> i know<dinka> lol<dinka> ...> she was like "no", I don't want to. It would be illegal> lol<dinka> lol<dinka> nice> I DIDN"T MEAND "DO IT WITH HIM!!!!"> lol<dinka> lol<dinka> i know lol<dinka> lmao> Aperently she wouldn't mind doing it on vidio with a younger guy> lol<dinka> lol<dinka> lol<dinka> lol> That was soooooooooo funny> Now I am wondering if I should actualy have her do it.... so that I can see if she realy would do it.> ... and get it on vidio> lol<dinka> lol<dinka> funnnnny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 The Top 16 Chapters in "Sex for Dummies" 16. Evolution 101: Why Dummies Might Actually Make PoorSex Partners15. Troubleshooting for Do-It-Yourselfers (NOTE:Memorize this chapter *before* you go blind.)14. Oh, God! Yes!! Oh, God! OH, GOD!!!: The MissionaryPosition13. Am I a Tab A or a Slot B?12. Engineering Secrets of the Bra: Removal in 14Simple Steps11. The Face: How to Tell Your Lover Apart from AllThose Other People10. Chapter 4: No, You Don't *Actually* Blow9. Stop Masturbating, She's Real!8. You're Britney, I'm Strom: Introduction to RolePlaying7. Foreplay: Not Just for Her Birthday, Chester6. Putting the Condom on a Banana is Just for*Practice*, Dumbass5. Crouching Doggie and Hidden Missionary: A Guide toSexual Positions4. "Alternate" Lifestyles: Pokeman?3. Hey! Watch Those Teeth, Vampira!!2. Sexual Physics: The Round Peg/Round Hole Theoryand the Number 1 Chapter in "Sex for Dummies"...Chapter 1: Mayor McWeiner and the ClamburglarPoor.Tough crowd i see. Altho its funny that Khan is stalking every single one of my jokes. :-*Not really, its just that you consistently come up with bad jokes, I'm tyring to disuade you from posting here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theclansman1911 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 khan, khan....why? everyone's got different taste, ever heard of something called tolerance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Well, the world needs a peanut gallery also I guess.And I really love that in-depth single word critique of my joke. Thats an awesome ass talent Khan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNWOUNDS Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 That was probably the funniest thing in this thread. I worship your comedic genius oh master of the sardonic art. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Your post appears to be changing with each second Gunwounds. :- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNWOUNDS Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Your post appears to be changing with each second Gunwounds. :-thats the beauty of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Couldn't agree more. ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNWOUNDS Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 i find your picture offensive as it is derogatory and it endorses homo-bashing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.